REFLECTION
It's another ordinary day and Morayo-Hope is very confident as we get ready in the morning, smiling at herself in the mirror and generally loving everything she sees therein. She loves her room and rearranges her toys in her little pram as we get ready to go on a playdate. I watch her briefly and then wander off to finish getting myself and Judah ready. She sings away. We leave the house still in a jovial mood. The playdate goes well and we begin our journey home.
"Mummy, don't you know our house is small?"
"Huh?!"
"Yes, mummy! Our house is small and cold and don't you know that everyone else's house is bigger than ours? And they have carpets! And their houses are warmer."
"Oh."
"Yes, I don't like our house."
Then she didn't like her face. Didn't like the dress. Hated her toys. Hated her life. It was all a big disaster!
I am perfectly fine everyday, in my house. I love the way I look. I appreciate my efforts with my make-up and think I pull myself together quite well. Then I leave the house. And see someone I feel is better. Then suddenly I too begin to question the point of my existence. Suddenly everyone else looks so much better, has nicer houses, better jobs, better hair and teeth and lives. Woe is me.
In the past few months I've been noticing just how much Morayo-Hope is like me and it scares me senseless. I don't want her to be like me. At least not the traits of me I see in her. Which begs the question, if I don't want her to be like that, why am I settling for being that way?
She is merely reflecting what she sees in me.
It's easy to get caught up in the hype of flowers, lunches and spas when we speak of Mother's day. We do deserve it! Haha! Motherhood is no easy job. Parenting is no easy job. Recently I got to thinking about what we, as mothers, have been charged with in this journey called motherhood.
We are entrusted with these fragile lives that are our responsibility to nurture into adults. Adults whom we hope can make a positive contribution to our world. It is both a frightening and humbling responsibility.
If my children are to reflect anything in me, I'd like it to be something good. Something worthy of note. This means I have a job to increase the good and noteworthy in my life. I wish above all things that my children's confidence would rest not on the things that are seen, but those that are unseen. That they would be rich in love for people and live life from a position of gratitude. That they be faithful with what has been entrusted to them. That they would live fearless, trailblazing lives; rich in experience of the world and in service to others. Their confidence ought not to be in the colour of their skin, the name that they carry or their parents address. It's not in the size or shape of their body, the length of their legs or the "goodness" of their hair.
I pray that as I love them better each day, they would step into the world confident that they belong. That they are someone significant, with a purpose and that they have the ability to make a difference in someone's world.
I pray that as I love myself better, I would step into the world confident that I belong, that I am significant, I have a purpose and I have the ability to make a difference in someone's world.
Is there anything about your personality you notice in your children and think "Oh no!"? Please share in the comments below...
Happy Mother's Day xoxo
** the images posted here are from a 2014 shoot titled "An African Princess in Windsor". The photographer was Nimz . She's currently showcasing her portraits on motherhood here. Be sure to follow her page!**
Oh my!! What a thought provoking piece. I have an 18 month old & although he doesn't talk, i can see him copying little things I do. They are watching, hearing & learning from us and i need to be mindful of it.
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for stopping by! Indeed they are watching us, all the time. I'm doing my best to be the person I want to be so they can too!
DeleteGreat post! You've really made me think. Why shouldn't I try and improve on those traits I dislike about myself instead of worrying about them in my children. I'm doing it the wrong way around, as you've said they only reflect on what they see. PS I love you metallic headwrap, where can I find one like this?? xx
ReplyDeleteHey Carissa, Lovely to see you on the other side of the web! I'm glad the post resonated with you too. I'm making a conscious effort to be better everyday and hopefully I'll see something different in her too! The "headwrap" is actually a dress! I improvised! Xxxx
DeleteThis is such a beautiful and well written piece. Its funny when you see the traits from your mother creep into you but we stop laughing when we think of it going down one more generation. Let me reassure you that you are a wonderful, beautiful and blessed woman. Your children see it and bask in that glory daily. And while they may inevitably take on some of you or your husband's traits, they'll also be getting the best things from you as well as from God. Fist bump for taking notice and deciding to make a positive change.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Damie - that's so kind of you to say and it means a lot! Amen to them getting the best from us and from God! here's to continually getting better :)
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