WHAT I WORE, WHAT MUMMY WORE

When I started this blog 4 years ago, I was a new mum with a baby in front of me and running commentary in my head. I decided to document that commentary, using Morayo-Hope's voice because I was certain she must be giggling to herself as she watched my daily fashion dramas and pointless meltdowns! As the blog carried on, ideas kept popping into my head of how the blog could evolve. However, one of my biggest fears was losing the primary focus of the blog which is the diary element. Whatmummywore isn't really just about fashion, I am a mum who wears her heart on her sleeve & I hope that comes through in the posts I put out. Another is the fear of the nasty people who just looove to come and make mean comments - and my skin could be used as tracing paper. Time to toughen up I guess!

A couple of years ago, I attended a church service when one of my friend's babies was being dedicated. I dressed up as always - Sunday is the one day of the week that as a stay at home mum I get to let rip! So I did! After the service another mum whose baby was being dedicated came up to say hello. I complimented her on her jumpsuit & she said "I was searching and searching for something to wear, then I said to myself don't bother, you'll never look as good as her." The "her" was me. It hurt more than I ever thought it would.

I will never forget that day. It's the day I realised that I had really missed the point. My insecurities are the stuff of legend (and the reason I have remained static), but if I can share the little I know and make one person out there more confident in the morning, I'll be a happy mama. So be ready for a few changes around here. It'll still be a fun place to hang out, just a little more useful I hope! And to top it off, we will actually be using our youtube channel - eek! I hate the sound of my voice so these should be interesting times. However, it's about time we get this show on the road - feel free to subscribe to it in eager anticipation of me & my tribe on screen! (PS - it is still work in progress - it will look much better once I have a good nights sleep one day and figure out what i'm doing!)

Next Monday, we start our mama crush monday series which is an opportunity for us all to be inspired by other mums who are navigating motherhood with style! I have some seriously stylish mums I stalk so please look out for the features! Are there any style / shopping topics you'd like me to cover on the blog / youtube vids?? Please put all your suggestions in the comments below. Thanks for all your support thus far & I hope you stick around for the next phase of our journey. Morayo-Hope & Judah Iyanu will still be writing!

There is room enough in the sky for all of us to shine.

Lots of love,

Tanaka

xoxo

It's another ordinary day and Morayo-Hope is very confident as we get ready in the morning, smiling at herself in the mirror and generally loving everything she sees therein. She loves her room and rearranges her toys in her little pram as we get ready to go on a playdate. I watch her briefly and then wander off to finish getting myself and Judah ready. She sings away. We leave the house still in a jovial mood. The playdate goes well and we begin our journey home.

"Mummy, don't you know our house is small?"

"Huh?!"

"Yes, mummy! Our house is small and cold and don't you know that everyone else's house is bigger than ours? And they have carpets! And their houses are warmer."

"Oh."

"Yes, I don't like our house."

Then she didn't like her face. Didn't like the dress. Hated her toys. Hated her life. It was all a big disaster!

I am perfectly fine everyday, in my house. I love the way I look. I appreciate my efforts with my make-up and think I pull myself together quite well. Then I leave the house. And see someone I feel is better. Then suddenly I too begin to question the point of my existence. Suddenly everyone else looks so much better, has nicer houses, better jobs, better hair and teeth and lives. Woe is me.

In the past few months I've been noticing just how much Morayo-Hope is like me and it scares me senseless. I don't want her to be like me. At least not the traits of me I see in her. Which begs the question, if I don't want her to be like that, why am I settling for being that way?
She is merely reflecting what she sees in me.

It's easy to get caught up in the hype of flowers, lunches and spas when we speak of Mother's day. We do deserve it! Haha! Motherhood is no easy job. Parenting is no easy job. Recently I got to thinking about what we, as mothers, have been charged with in this journey called motherhood.
We are entrusted with these fragile lives that are our responsibility to nurture into adults. Adults whom we hope can make a positive contribution to our world. It is both a frightening and humbling responsibility.

If my children are to reflect anything in me, I'd like it to be something good. Something worthy of note. This means I have a job to increase the good and noteworthy in my life. I wish above all things that my children's confidence would rest not on the things that are seen, but those that are unseen. That they would be rich in love for people and live life from a position of gratitude. That they be faithful with what has been entrusted to them. That they would live fearless, trailblazing lives; rich in experience of the world and in service to others. Their confidence ought not to be in the colour of their skin, the name that they carry or their parents address. It's not in the size or shape of their body, the length of their legs or the "goodness" of their hair.

I pray that as I love them better each day, they would step into the world confident that they belong. That they are someone significant, with a purpose and that they have the ability to make a difference in someone's world.

I pray that as I love myself better, I would step into the world confident that I belong, that I am significant, I have a purpose and I have the ability to make a difference in someone's world.

Is there anything about your personality you notice in your children and think "Oh no!"? Please share in the comments below...

Happy Mother's Day xoxo

** the images posted here are from a 2014 shoot titled "An African Princess in Windsor". The photographer was Nimz . She's currently showcasing her portraits on motherhood here. Be sure to follow her page!**

No, it's not a typo. This is my week. Today is my birthday. And Sunday is my day too.....because in the UK, it's Mother's Day! I mean honestly, when God smiles on me, he literally rains glitter on my head!! So...people, listen up. I have heard your cries from on high.....the "I don't know what to buy Tanaka, she has such specific tastes etc etc"ones.

Well, here it is - a definitive guide to what I am lusting after right now:

1. Zara E-Gift Card

Because it's my second address.

2. Converse Chucks

Because like my mentor Victoria Beckham, I've realised running after toddlers in heels is overrated & life threatening.

3. A Watch

Because mine went missing in Zim & I haven't told Kola yet. It has high sentimental value...more for me really. I'd really like to replace it before he finds out. Thanks!

4. Mother or Faking It Sweatshirt

For the days I look a mess. People can just read the word & immediately understand what's going on.

And you'll be giving to charity at the same time - all round good feelings!

5. Beauty Products

Because I want to be beautiful

6. Jewellery

Gone are the days of collapsing into Topshop on sale day. I'm a real grown up now.
I'm currently obsessed with all manner of cuff bracelets. The below is the ultimate crush but you can use it as a guide. Bring on the bling!!

7. Style Books

Because in my dreams I have time to read. In reality I just about manage to look at a few pictures in the magazines I subscribe to. These books don't have an issue month emblazoned across the front to remind me of how long it's been since I read something longer than an Instagram post. And they have pictures. Thus striking the right balance.

8. Time

Make it stand still so I can catch up on whats been happening in the world since I embarked on this journey of sleep deprivation. Failing that, a weekend Spa break, European short break, 1 week Tuscany villa holiday, or 2 week beach holiday would do. Take your pick based on your budget.

I'll be waiting by my door with my other address (Zara.com) open on my computer too. All angles covered!

You're welcome!

Kisses,
The Birthday Girl

"Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'." (The Happy Man, Pretty Woman)

remember that line from pretty woman? mummy loves it! don't worry i've never watched it - but apparently one of my aunts did when she was my age as a chaperone to another one of my aunts who was on a hot date! but i digress... mummy is a dreamer. boy can she dream, and fantasise...yep, she sure can do that.

as last year came to a close, she was again sitting and looking at herself wondering where her year had gone. what about those dreams she had had for the year? where did it all go so wrong? well, she did manage to buy the house with daddy, and that was a big one. but business wise, it just wasn't quite what she'd hoped. as she sat there at her pity party; ice-cream in one hand, popcorn in the other and a handy bridget jones screening about to start on ITV, her phone pinged to life. it was a message from one of her university friends' inviting her to attend a vision board session. the goal? to help her put her dreams in one place & make plans to bring them to reality. mummy jumped at the chance and spent the rest of the night humming "Get outta my dreams, get into my car!", and swinging her hips from side to side.

the day arrived and mummy journeyed to london full of expectation and ready to get her life in order. she needed this. heck, we needed this. the smell of popcorn in our house was getting annoying - and i'm a kid. she says Tomi, the event host, created an amazing atmosphere with some lovely music softly playing in the background, and just the right number of participants there, including my aunty lola! it was a happy coincidence to find each other at the same event! in that room, mummy felt she could make anything happen. she was focused and magazines were being ripped with reckless abandon to create boards that reflected each person's dream for their lives. they were encouraged to choose both pictures and words and paste them onto their boards. mummy had done something similar before, but not like this. there was something about being in an environment with like-minded people that made her feel less like a failure and alone, and more like part of a group of people that were not willing to just be satisfied with the status quo. having the vision board in front of her everyday is a constant reminder of who she can actually be & the life she wants to live. also, hearing others speak of their frustrations, plans and vision really got her motivated. one of the best motivators was learning that Tomi herself got to where she is via this very route.

mummy's vision board all framed and ready for her study gallery wall

the most painful thing for my mum was realising she just isn't much fun anymore. (was she ever though? hmmm...i'll check with that uni aunty...). in her head she rides bikes, goes for walks in the country, loves to swim, plays tennis, takes baths with us and goes for days out in fun places. but in reality she's cleaning the house / cleaning someone / cleaning the house / doing groceries / cleaning the house / ironing; and dreaming about those fun things. as were some of the mums at the workshop. so top of the agenda was to have more fun and do the things she loves. when i'm 16 and free to leave home, i'll tell you the truth about how it panned out in 2016. or you could follow this blog and see for yourself....feel free to comment any time you feel you haven't seen a post about us doing something fun! mummy thoroughly recommends this vision board workshop to anyone feeling lost in the maze of dreams vs reality. the next one isn't far away - 12th march 2016. go for it, i plead on behalf of your kids / future kids!

morayo-hope

xoxo

**this is a genuine review of my experience at this event. i have not been paid to write this post, nor was i paid to attend the event / publicise future events. i would happily disclose if i had been cos that that would mean i had arrived! free clothes, free events, free cars.....holler! did i type that? **

so, as you would be aware if you follow us on instagram, mummy and i were in zimbabwe for the whole of January. as is always the case when african women go home, the salon was top of her list of extra-curricular priorities. she had a hairstyle in mind, and God help anyone who was going to mess with her plan this year. the main thing for her to consider was whether to do it shortly after arriving, and risk it looking rough around the edges by the time she got back to the UK, or to look like a lost soul for the duration of her trip and come back to Blighty with fresh looking locks. she went for the lost soul / glamourous arrival look. so what is this hairstyle she was pining for ever so desperately? well, she first spotted in on Solange Knowles and since that time has been desperately trying to get someone to recreate it without demanding payment in blood / solid gold bars.

in 2013, 6 months after my birth we visited nigeria and mummy felt her chance had come. she went to the salon with my aunt who bargained with the ladies and they assured mummy she'd be leaving with waist long braids. they weren't quite. and she paid considerably more than she expected considering they were being done in an african setting. she grinned and bore it. but now it's 2016 & mummy has decided that she will not be settling for less than what she actually really wants anymore. so she arranged for two guys to come and do her hair at home & they were to bring the extensions needed. lets just say they pitched up with some random extensions which they claimed would do the job. mummy humored them & they did some braids which appeared to have an allergy to her shoulder. i mean, they barely passed her chin. she grinned and bore it. then decided she wasn't having it. she undid it 2 days later and 2 different mavericks arrived with plans to do a whole different style, and carrying just 1 tiny pack of extensions. and they needed to be provided with cigarettes on demand in order to work well. see ya. she called the fist guys back and after they realised it wasn't a joke, they re-did her hair.

after it was done, mum was walking like a horse on it's hind legs. i mean seriously, her head was bent backwards and she looked like she might topple backwards at any minute. great as the guys were at at braiding - and they are - mummy says they struggled to "pull" the hair properly and ended up using much more than they needed. "I'll take a few pictures to prove i fulfilled my wish & take them off" she told aunty joy, who collapsed onto the bed. 4 weeks later, she still has them in and has mastered the art of walking "gracefully" with the installation on her head. i find the hair handy to tug when i need her attention. sitting, driving, showering, turning her head are all skills she's had to re-master in the wake of this new style.

the art of showering....

she has realised that sometimes when something keeps eluding you, it may be for the best. after all, solange has people. people who probably carry that hair for her when she's not being photographed.

don't look at me mum, i am not your people. i will call social services.

ciao,
judah

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Evolution

REFLECTION

This Mother's Birthday & Mother's Day Wish List

What's your Dream?

Be careful what you wish for...