Be careful what you wish for...

so, as you would be aware if you follow us on instagram, mummy and i were in zimbabwe for the whole of January. as is always the case when african women go home, the salon was top of her list of extra-curricular priorities. she had a hairstyle in mind, and God help anyone who was going to mess with her plan this year. the main thing for her to consider was whether to do it shortly after arriving, and risk it looking rough around the edges by the time she got back to the UK, or to look like a lost soul for the duration of her trip and come back to Blighty with fresh looking locks. she went for the lost soul / glamourous arrival look. so what is this hairstyle she was pining for ever so desperately? well, she first spotted in on Solange Knowles and since that time has been desperately trying to get someone to recreate it without demanding payment in blood / solid gold bars. 

in 2013, 6 months after my birth we visited nigeria and mummy felt her chance had come. she went to the salon with my aunt who bargained with the ladies and they assured mummy she'd be leaving with waist long braids. they weren't quite. and she paid considerably more than she expected considering they were being done in an african setting. she grinned and bore it. but now it's 2016 & mummy has decided that she will not be settling for less than what she actually really wants anymore. so she arranged for two guys to come and do her hair at home & they were to bring the extensions needed. lets just say they pitched up with some random extensions which they claimed would do the job. mummy humored them & they did some braids which appeared to have an allergy to her shoulder. i mean, they barely passed her chin. she grinned and bore it. then decided she wasn't having it. she undid it 2 days later and 2 different mavericks arrived with plans to do a whole different style, and carrying just 1 tiny pack of extensions. and they needed to be provided with cigarettes on demand in order to work well. see ya. she called the fist guys back and after they realised it wasn't a joke, they re-did her hair.

after it was done, mum was walking like a horse on it's hind legs. i mean seriously, her head was bent backwards and she looked like she might topple backwards at any minute. great as the guys were at at braiding - and they are - mummy says they struggled to "pull" the hair properly and ended up using much more than they needed. "I'll take a few pictures to prove i fulfilled my wish & take them off" she told aunty joy, who collapsed onto the bed. 4 weeks later, she still has them in and has mastered the art of walking "gracefully" with the installation on her head. i find the hair handy to tug when i need her attention. sitting, driving, showering, turning her head are all skills she's had to re-master in the wake of this new style. 

she has realised that sometimes when something keeps eluding you, it may be for the best. after all, solange has people. people who probably carry that hair for her when she's not being photographed. 

don't look at me mum, i am not your people. i will call social services.