the unglamorous side of motherhood...

Tanaka 12/02/2013 08:19:00 AM Add Comment

just when mummy thought motherhood couldn't get anymore gross and humbling, i pushed her to the edge with two words:

POTTY TRAINING.

mummy is one of those people who hates all toilet related activities. she will happily clean the house top to toe, iron and cook all year round as long as the bathroom cleaning duties can be done by someone else. it is how it is. she had no problem dealing with my nappies. she actually took a weird kind of pride in my dirty nappies. (this all began after my first dirty nappy when my gogo (granny) shouted "Praise God!". mummy didn't think it was a "Praise God" moment but she soon got to find that where I was concerned, every moment was a "Praise God moment with my gogo. "Aww she's awake! Praise God!!" , "Aww..she sneezed! Praise God!" , "Hiccups! Hallelujah!"...you get the picture.

well, these days, mummy is rarely in a praisey mood! no sooner has she finished mopping up a pool of wee than she's following a not-so-sweet scent and landing in my room to find me standing sheepishly in the corner with a panty full of...well you know..

i try to lighten the mood by ecstatically exclaiming "i've done a poo poo mummy! i've done a poo poo!". i know mummy can't do much as she's read everywhere that she's not to show any frustration but instead just remind me that i need to go to the toilet. she forces a plastic smile & looks like a black Stepford wife as she proceeds to clean me, my panties and the floor as there is always a pool of wee too. to be fair, i have generally tried to spare my mummy this trauma - daddy normally bears the brunt of the messy days. and my aunty tinashe - she was the first one i did a poo poo in the bath for as a newborn. i thought she'd celebrate it like my gogo did....with a quick "PRAISE GOD!

not quite.

mummy needed to feel like her old un-traumatised self again, so when the chance to hit the streets of London came last week, she jumped at the opportunity! she got all glammed up & left daddy to deal with any shennanigans i may choose to get up to.