For the last month i have been singing happy birthday to myself, wondering when my chance would actually come! the day is finally here! mummy wants to remind me of the traumas of childbirth and how i should be forever grateful and obedient to her. i don't care. i just want to play with my new toy car

ok...so i got to attend my mummy's babyshower a couple of weeks ago. it was....interesting. i thought it was all about the baby and everyone gushing about how sweet and gorgeous this new little life was going to be and generally being lady-like. mummy even dressed in a flowing maxi dress that was made of  the softest silk.

ok...there's no getting away from it...we've been awol! mummy has been in "nesting mode"  for the last 5 weeks and been de-cluttering the flat like it was an olympic sport. it all began with her watching "the hoarder next door" on channel 4. she envisioned all the fabulous things she's amassed over the years slowly taking over the